Are You Contagious?

Apparently, very few things in nature are as contagious as the COVID-19 virus. That’s why we take such drastic precautions, because no one wants to catch it.

But there is something else in nature that can be even more contagious than a virus. It’s your attitude, or more precisely, your emotional state.

This is not just a metaphor—emotional contagion is a well-researched and established phenomenon. As Daniel Goleman tells us in his book, Social Intelligence, “Every interaction has an emotional subtext. Along with whatever else we are doing, we can make each other feel a little better, or even a lot better, or a little worse—or a lot worse…”[1]

Emotional contagion is similar to an actual virus in that it works invisibly, often beneath our conscious awareness. Our amygdala are highly attuned to emotional signals, especially negative ones, and in fact they extract emotional meaning microseconds before our conscious minds are aware of what we’re looking at. That’s why we can come away from an encounter with a vague sense of either happiness or sadness, without being able to explain why.

Unlike a real virus, distance is no protection. You can infect someone half a world away, whether they’re simply reading your email, hearing your voice, or seeing you on a Zoom call.

So what does this mean to you? Depending on whether you have a good attitude or a bad one, you either want to prevent its spread or encourage it. If you go into a call with a customer with an attitude of discouragement or desperation, you will infect them with your attitude. If you go into a call with the confidence in your ability to help them, you will also infect them with your attitude. It’s especially important if you’re a leader; you’re a “superspreader” because everyone pays inordinate attention to everything you say and do.

But here’s where the coronavirus comparison hits a brick wall. Most importantly, emotional contagion is not potentially lethal. Second, it can be controlled or even used for good.

Take active control of your emotional state. Self-awareness is the closest thing to a vaccine against emotional contagion. Be mindful; look inside yourself and name the emotion you are feeling. It’s called labeling, and this simple act places your executive functions back in control. If the emotion you’re feeling is not the one you wish to portray during this next conversation or meeting, try to change it.

If that’s too difficult, at least try to pretend you’re feeling upbeat even if you’re not. Put on a smile even if you don’t feel like it. Lift your chin, put some enthusiasm in your voice, and take a sincere interest in the other person. In a phenomenon called embodied cognition, our minds often read signals from our bodies, so “fake it ‘til you make it” is actually sound advice.

Emotional contagion works both ways, so you also have to think about guarding against catching others’ negative attitudes. Again, it begins with self-awareness. If you have a good handle on your own internal feelings, you can counteract the “vibes” you’re getting from the other person. If you think the other person will listen, you can label the emotion you’re sensing and ask them about it.

In the end, it all boils down to personal responsibility. There is enough negativity spreading around, and we can’t control all of it. But we can each determine to avoid being part of the problem and perhaps make a small contribution toward a solution. If you can’t avoid being contagious, at least be contagious in a way that helps you and others!

[1] Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, p. 14.