Recently, I read and reviewed Jeffrey Pfeffer’s book, 7 Rules of Power. I had mixed feelings about the book, because even though it provides practical advice about how to attain power within an organization, it is explicitly amoral when it came to the use of your power when you have it. The dominant standard is, do what works, because becoming powerful will excuse anything you did to get it, or what you do with it once you have it.
Ironically, one of the strongest counterpoints to Pfeffer’s argument comes from a book he recommended, by his Stanford colleague Deborah Gruenfeld, Acting with Power: Why We Are More Powerful than We Believe.
The book’s title contains a clue to its two key themes. The first is that leadership is a form of acting. The second is that it’s important not only to have power, but how you act with it once you have it.
Let’s cover the latter theme first: Gruenfeld reflects on those who seek power because:
“…they want to be associated with the brand, create a personal platform, build a resume, and become more visible as a mover and shaker. Many books on power will tell you this is the right way to think about power. I have always thought it was nonsense. Everyone knows when this happens. These people have not just lost the plot, they never cared about the plot to begin with. “
As she says, “…the measure of a person is not how much power a person has but what one uses power for.” In other words, it’s not just about accumulating power, but in using it effectively. Effectively, in this case, does not mean for selfish ends, but for a greater good: for the team, the organization, the community.
Gruenfeld’s exhortation to use power for the greater good is not merely preachy moralizing, it’s also practical, because it makes others more likely to follow you and support you if they know you have their best interests at heart.
Back to the first key theme: leadership is a form of acting. The essential insight is that power is not a personal attribute, but something that others confer on you because of the situation, because we can give or withhold something they need. So power derives from the role we play in concert with others.
That means that, like an actor, we have to play the role assigned to us in the truest possible way. Paradoxically, this does not mean being “authentic”. It means bringing out the best aspects of ourself that are most appropriate to the situation. For example, you could be the big boss at work and play a totally different role around your family, or your friends.
I call it calculated authenticity, Gruenfeld calls it playing a role, hence the title of the book. So, if you play the role properly, others will see you acting responsibly and thus deserving of the power they grant you.
Some people may have trouble buying into this idea, but I wholeheartedly agree, as I’ve written before. For example, if you’re suffering from imposter syndrome or stage fright, being authentic will only make it worse. So, acting with power means that sometimes you need to win the battle within yourself, which is another reason not to be “authentic”. Often, you might have to radiate outward confidence even when you’re boiling with anxiety inside, and there are a number of useful tips for doing so. Incidentally, the chapter on acting to play up your power would fit perfectly into a book on presentations; I especially like the advice to act as a host and not a guest.
Gruenfeld also rightly recognizes that it’s not always about playing the alpha dog. Sometimes the situation dictates that you play down your power. If you have a lot of power, you may need to tone it down to make others more comfortable. If you report to someone more powerful, you have to “ride shotgun” effectively.
Pfeffer tells us we don’t have a right to preach, so I won’t. I’ll just leave it with a simple question. If you had a choice of leaders, one who got there by following either Pfeffer’s or Gruenfeld’s advice, which would you choose?
Bill Dellecker is not a famous management guru, business school professor, retired general or big name CEO, so why should you read his book on leadership?
Precisely because he doesn’t bring any of those specific perspectives. He merely brings the perspective of a professional small-to-medium business leader, one who knows what it’s like to get his hands dirty, meet payroll, build a business without unlimited capital budgets, deal directly with clients, train and motivate a diverse work force, and successfully meet the infinite variety of daily challenges posed by the market.
But experience by itself doesn’t automatically translate to a worthwhile book. Dellecker also adds the perspective of a thoughtful student of his profession, one who has long worked on, not just in business. He has done extensive reading and it shows.
Those two perspectives, I believe, will resonate with the vast majority of potential readers who will never go on to run a Fortune 500 company, but who nevertheless will make a tremendous impact on their own business, department, or team. Dellecker has turned his experience and learning into relatable practical advice that the reader can immediately begin to apply. He doesn’t just tell you what to do, he also demonstrates how to do it. For example, while he urges you to hire top talent, he also provides you with a specific list of questions that you can use during the interview to help you figure it out.
Leadership Worthy is well-written and clearly laid out. The first section deals with his three pillars of business success: People First, Purpose Second and Valuing Details. The second section covers specific skills, such as establishing culture, measuring what matters and communication. With the exception of his citing the old canard that only 7% of feeling content is carried in the words we speak, I thought his chapter on leadership communication was strong. The third section covers how to apply these principles and skills in a dynamic environment.
Ultimately, Dellecker’s three pillars of business success must rest on a solid foundation of knowing yourself. The most important theme of the book is that to do leadership right, it begins inside of you. To be worthy to lead, you must know who you are and what you stand for, and have an honest view of your own strengths and weaknesses. I’m not sure that lesson is taught in business schools today, but it certainly should be.
Kelly Riggs, author of Quit Whining and Start Selling, has teamed up with his son Robby to write Counter Mentor Leadership, which is a timely book on how to lead in today’s 4-Generation workplace. I personally can’t imagine how a father-son relationship could survive writing a book together, but they have somehow managed to pull it off.
I definitely recommend it as an excellent book on leadership, although I say that for different reasons than they would claim, which I will get to in a minute.
The first two sections of the book set the table by describing how today’s workplace has changed, and why leadership may be more challenging than ever. Their premise is that today’s BOSS (Boomer, Old-school Supervisors) leadership model is not effective with KIDS (Know-it-all Digital Self-promoters). Boomers, according to them, still practice the old Taylorian model of command and control management and so they’re out of step with the demands of today’s workplace, with its new technology, distractions, pace of change and complexity.
The main course of the book is section three, in which they introduce their COUNTER Mentor leadership model. The acronym describes the seven tasks of a leader:
- Communicate desired outcomes
- Own the relationship
- Understand different perspectives
- Negotiate the obstacles
- Teach essential skills
- Execute
- Review results
The prescriptions comprise solid, common sense advice for leaders. As with most leadership advice, it’s things you more or less know already but don’t do enough of. Rather than go into detail for each of these parts of the model, let me address two key points that fit the persuasive communication theme of my blog.
First, I strongly agree with Communication as not only the first piece of the model, but as the only one that merits more than 1 chapter—four chapters, in fact. As I’ve put it before with maybe just a light touch of exaggeration, leadership IS communication. As the book puts it, “everything you do is communication, and your people soak it up like a sponge.”
Second, the charge to understand the perspectives of others is absolutely critical.[1] R&R tell us that “understanding is critical to developing a relationship, and relationship is the key to trust.” The key takeaway I got from this is that both sides demand respect, but they define respect differently, which is why open conversations to understand each other’s points of view is essential. The best tool for this is the Counter Mentor 1-on-1 Meeting, which is like a sales call plan for coaching.
As I mentioned earlier, my reasons for recommending the book may differ from theirs. First, while I agree that the Taylorian model doesn’t work, that’s not exactly a new idea. Douglas McGregor called the old style Theory X and the new style Theory Y in his book, The Human Side of Enterprise, in 1960, while a few years’ worth of boomers weren’t even born yet. If bosses are still practicing the old school management today, in my view it’s a personal problem, not a generational problem.
Besides, speaking of generational conflict, we’ve always had generational differences in the workplace. (Remember the song, Signs with its lines, “Long-haired freaky people need not apply” and “Imagine that! Hah, Me working for you!”) I suspect that today’s millennials will become tomorrow’s BOSSes when they get older and get more control.
But those two quibbles are actually good reasons to buy this book and apply its lessons. People constantly need to be re-reminded of old truths, and millennials who take these lessons to heart may avoid the fate of becoming BOSSes as they grow older (yes, it’s going to happen to you before you know it—one day you’ll look in the mirror and see your Mom or your Dad).
So, yes, you need to apply the lessons in this book, but not just because there are 4 generations in the workplace. The leadership model applies regardless of the age of the participants on either side of the equation.
As Kelly and Robby stress, it’s all about respect, no matter how old you are. And I guess that’s how father and son managed to write a book together.
[1] Although they don’t specifically address it in the book, different perspectives also arise from increased diversity and cultural differences, which makes this more important than ever.
If you could think of one change to make in your communication habits that would make you more influential, more interesting, and more well-liked, what would it be? The answer, according to Frank Sesno—and one which I strongly endorse—is to ask more questions. In his book, Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions and Spark Change, Sesno, a former CNN anchor, explains why questions are so powerful and how to ask them.
In this review, I will ask and answer four questions:
- Why should you ask more questions?
- Why read this book?
- What are some of the main lessons?
- How should you read the book?
Why ask more questions?
You probably don’t ask enough questions—so what? The big-picture answer, filtered through the lens of lean communication, is that you are producing less value and more waste than you should. Value is defined by the listener, and if you don’t know your listeners as well as you should, how can you express your points in ways that are most likely to resonate with them? Asking more questions helps you zero in on exactly what’s important to the other person. But even better, asking questions engages the other person so that together you both create more value and more memorable communication. I love this quote from the book: “People forget what they heard, but they remember almost everything they say.”
Why read this book?
There are many good books on questioning, written from the perspective of sales, psychology, management[1], etc. but this is the first one (that I’ve read, at least) by a journalist, who by definition makes his living through the quality of his questions. Besides the credibility it adds to the book, Sesno’s professional expertise adds two other assets that make Ask More worth reading. First, he knows how to find other credible sources, so he is not just relying on what has worked for him, as so many experts do, and this brings a breadth and diversity of different situations and applications where questioning is helpful. of questioning applications. Second, he knows how to tell stories lucidly and concisely, so the book makes for pleasant and engaging reading.
What are some of the main lessons?
The book is organized into chapters that explain how to ask questions for different purposes, from solving problems to inspiring others, to sparking creative thinking, to building rapport. But regardless of your purpose in asking questions, some general principles come through. Probably the most important is that you should have a purpose and a plan for your questions. Your plan will help ensure that you don’t miss anything important, and your purpose will keep you on track when the person you’re interviewing inevitably throws you off your plan, whether accidentally or on purpose. Second is the importance of knowing how to listen to the answers and what to listen for—especially what is not being said. Third, by learning the basic structure of each specific questioning application, you can apply a reasonably repeatable process that will save you time and ensure you don’t miss anything.
How should you read the book?
If there is one improvement opportunity I would suggest for this book, it would be to go a bit lighter on the stories and heavier on the “how-to”. For example, in the chapter on empathetic questioning, as he introduces a man who got John Hinckley to open up through questions, do we really need to know the path of each of the six bullets John Hinckley fired? That’s why I would suggest that you begin reading the book at page 211, which begins the “Question Guide” section, where the basics of each major questioning task are laid out. Then, you can go back through the book and read the sections that you find most useful, and having the layout of each section in mind will make it easier to tease out the lessons from the stories and extraneous detail.
Despite that last quibble, Ask More is an important and worthwhile book. We can all benefit from improving the quantity and quality of the questions we ask, and I personally resolve to improve on that this year. So, let me end with one more question:
What are you waiting for?
[1] A few good examples: SPIN Selling and Question Based Selling for Sales; Leading with Questions, for leadership;
Humble Inquiry, for psychology.
