Don’t get too comfortable
This post is mainly addressed to people who are not directly in the sales force, although I have met a few salespeople who could stand a reminder as well.
One of the more amusing practices in American higher education is the endowed chair. Universities have endowed professorships which are named after the deep-pocketed donors who paid for them. The professors may have never met the donor in person, but they owe their position to that specific person.
It’s almost exactly the same in private business. A donor also paid for that chair you’re sitting in. That donor’s name is Customer. The main difference is that unlike in academia, Customer did not endow the funds for your position. An endowment is a permanent donation, which is necessary in academia so that donors won’t have an influence on what or how the professor teaches.
Customer (or Client, if you prefer) exchanged funds for value received. No value, no Customer. Unlike in academia, the exchange has to be renewed every single day, because Customer has the option to withdraw future funds at any time if they perceive value is not being delivered.
For example, if you are an engineer, you probably did not choose engineering as a major because you had a dream of serving Customer—but that is what you do. That code you write? It’s for Customer. That wastewater treatment plant you’re designing? It’s for Customer. That patent you worked so hard to earn? It’s for Customer.
In my classes, I like to ask the attendees what their company’s most important asset is. The number one answer I get is “people”. But when I ask which people, I almost never hear the real answer: Customer. Keep in mind that the people I usually train are the people most directly tasked with the acquisition, care and maintenance of these critical assets, but even they almost never think of it that way.
Peter Drucker said: “Every business exists to serve customers…profitably.” Without Customer, the business would not exist, and your job would not exist, and no one would pay for that chair you’re sitting in.
So, next time you say that sales is not your job, reflect on the fact that without sales you wouldn’t have a job. And even if you never meet Customer in the flesh, you are a key contributor to the entire enterprise that exists only to make Customer happy.
Even if you don’t talk to Customer directly, what are you doing to help your business serve Customer profitably?
(P.S. Next time you see one of your company’s salespeople, be sure to thank them for getting you a place to park your butt.)
Abraham Lincoln once said that when preparing for a speech he would spend two-thirds of his time thinking about what the audience wanted to hear, and then one-third thinking about what he wanted to say. Based on recent research announced in this article in McKinsey Quarterly, B2B companies should pay more attention to that advice.
A brand sends a message to customers and prospective customers what they can expect if they do business with a company: its perceived capabilities and competencies, unique selling points and value proposition all wrapped into one. The brand message is not completely within the company’s control, especially in this age of social media, but it’s critical that the company do the best job possible in getting out in front with a compelling message. That’s why big B2B companies put an enormous amount of effort and money into building their brands—but according to the research they’re doing a terrible job of it.
Researchers examined publicly available documents from Fortune 500 and DAX 30 companies and identified thirteen themes. They then measured how the largest 90 global B2B companies linked their brand messages to these themes. Here are the top four, gauged by the percentage of the companies that aligned their messages with them:
- Role-models corporate social responsibility in its work (86%)
- Promotes and practices sustainability in its products or services (84%)
- Has global reach (79%)
- Shapes the direction of the market (72%)
The researchers also surveyed more than 700 global executives to find out how important each of the thirteen themes were to how they evaluated suppliers.
Guess how many of those top four matched the customers’ top four? ZERO
Here are the top four themes that customers pay attention to:
- Cares about honest, open dialogue with its customers and society
- Acts responsibly across its supply chain
- Has a high level of specialist expertise
- Fits in well with my values and beliefs
Their most important theme was not even mentioned by any of the top 90 companies in the survey!
What I know about PR and Marketing might fit into about half a blog post, so I can’t speculate too much on why the big companies have such a large mismatch between what they want to say and what their customers want to hear, but a clue emerges in the footnotes of the article, which is worth quoting verbatim:
” Face-to-face and phone contact with sales representatives ranked highest among B2B customers considering, evaluating, and purchasing products, as well as in product-loyalty decisions. This was true across all industries and regions in our sample.”
Is it maybe just slightly possible that those companies should actually talk to their own salespeople more, to find out what customers care about? (Or maybe talk to customers themselves—but let’s not get carried away here…)
The more threads, the better.
Outside-In thinking—taking the perspective of the other party—is the first of the four pillars of persuasive power, and it has figured prominently in this blog. Yet one can always learn more, and Daniel Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence
Goleman’s empathy triad comprises three forms of attention: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and empathetic caring.
Cognitive empathy is the closest to what I call outside-in thinking. Essentially, it’s paying attention to the other person’s thought processes and emotions, of knowing what they’re thinking and feeling, and being able to incorporate that into your persuasive approach. Another term for it is perspective taking, which is the ability to see the situation from the point of view of another person. It’s a skill that may be unique to humans, and begins to develop around the time we are three years old and ends only when we attain positions of power.
Emotional empathy goes beyond simply being aware of what they are feeling, to being in tune with the other’s emotional state: you feel it yourself at least to a certain extent. In brain scan experiments, volunteers watching others undergo painful electric shocks show activation in the same brain areas, indicating that their minds are simulating the same experience.
Empathetic caring, the third level, is sometimes a missing ingredient, because it’s possible to know and feel what the other person is undergoing without caring enough to do something about it. For example, many doctors are well aware of what patients are feeling, but do not show a human concern for their condition. Interestingly, even when there is no difference in actual outcomes, those with a caring bedside manner are less likely to be sued for malpractice, and more likely to have patients follow their directions.
Let’s look at the benefits and dangers of each:
Cognitive empathy is extremely useful in sales, particularly in a complex sale that requires that you show a deep understanding of the client’s situation. Striving for and achieving it requires research, insightful questions, and close attention to the client’s words and body language in describing their situation. It works beyond sales; in any persuasive conversation the mere act of striving for it makes you more credible and sympathetic in the eyes of the other person, and increases the chances that they will open up and provide you with the reasons and the language that you can use to achieve your persuasive goal.
But the downside to cognitive empathy is that without feeling or caring it can easily become manipulative or awkward (remember the debate when Obama told Hillary Clinton she was “likeable enough”?). Indeed, Goleman tells us that successful sociopaths, such as swindlers and narcissistic leaders, succeed because they can be experts in understanding and manipulating other people. They can describe the other person’s emotions intellectually, but because they don’t feel them, their consciences are not constrained, and they see others only as instruments to get what they themselves want, making any persuasive goal acceptable and any tactic fair game.
So if being right is as important to you as being effective, you must balance outside-in thinking with outside-in feeling and caring. As a recent Harvard Business Review article puts it: “Warmth is the conduit of influence.”
How to achieve the right balance
Although Goleman does not call them this, I prefer to think of each type of empathy as head, gut, and heart. One would think that it’s best to have high levels of each type of empathy, but different situations call for different mixes. The best persuaders achieve the right balance of each depending on the situation. For example, a salesperson who is too focused on the intellectual dimension of the problem to be solved will overlook the little things that build long term trusting relationships; on the other hand, a surgeon who could not detach herself from the emergency room patient’s fear and pain would probably be too shaken to think straight. A presenter may be so focused on remembering his material that he neglects to notice that the audience has checked out.
How do you achieve the right balance of head, gut and heart?
Ironically, the best way to be good at outside-in thinking may be to begin with effective inside-out thinking. In other words, you need to be fully self-aware before you can be truly aware of others. Begin by examining your own reasons and motivations for the persuasive appeal you are making. Do you sincerely believe that it is in the other person’s best interest? If you were in their shoes, what would you do?
If your self-awareness tells you that you need to get better at feeling and caring, you can “fake it ‘til you make it.” This may sound really cynical, but researchers have found that teaching doctors to go through the motions even when you don’t feel like it—paying attention to the patient’s body language, facial expression and tone of voice—makes them more aware of them as people, and engages the second two legs of the empathy triad. During the conversation, monitor your own reading of the situation: can you sense what the other person is feeling at this stage of the interaction? Are you asking questions that elicit subjective information? Have you tried summarizing or paraphrasing what they are saying to ensure that you understand them, and that they know that you understand them?
It’s all about how you focus your attention. There is a rich stream of signals that flows between two people in a conversation, and we each have our own personal tendencies to selectively notice some of the stimuli and to ignore others; and the unconscious choices we make determine the quality, content and results of our dealings with other people. By allocating your attention appropriately to all three levels of the empathy triad you will ensure that you are persuading others to do the right thing in the right way.
Paying attention in this way is not only good ethics, it is good practice. Gaining agreement in this way will leave the other person better off and feeling good about their decision, which will lead to sustainable agreements, ongoing referrals, and long term trusting relationships.
