Donkeys are legendary for their stubbornness. And, because they weigh more than the average human, they’re hard to move when they prefer to stay put.
A tough audience
Does that sound like many of the people you might be trying to persuade?
I don’t claim to be a livestock expert, but I did see a technique on TV once that seemed to work pretty well (and we all know that if it’s on TV it has to be true). The donkey driver—for lack of a better term—had a long rope attached to the donkey’s halter, and looped it around the back of the donkey’s legs (behind the ass’ ass, in other words). When he pulled, the donkey felt a pressure from behind and did not associate it with the DD, so he began walking.
That’s not a bad image to keep in mind when you have to convince a stubborn individual or audience. It’s tempting to get right to the point, but if you attack their beliefs directly and forcefully, all you’re likely to do is make them even less inclined to move. So, you’ve got to loop around behind them. Begin your presentation by laying out their position, and your understanding of why they feel the way they do. This will either put them at ease or confuse them, but it won’t get them to automatically put up the shield. Show the ways that your position agrees with them: maybe you agree on ends but not means, or in degree but not quality.
When you have their attention, and possibly even a head nodding or two, then you can gradually nudge them out of their position. Maybe you point out inconsistencies, mistaken assumptions, new information that might let them change their minds without losing face or feeling like they’re being pulled too hard. The best result is that they feel like they are changing their own minds, not being forced into anything.
One caveat: Thinking of people who disagree with you as asses is probably not conducive to the kind of thinking you need to be able to express their position with any understanding, but the child in me couldn’t resist!
In a conversation I had with John Spence on Friday, he told me he had just returned from a leadership development course that was held at a game preserve that featured lions and rhinos. That prompted me to ask him if he had seen any LINOs while he was there. “What’s a LINO?”, he asked.
“A Leader In Name Only”, I replied.
I won’t tell you his answer, but we both agreed that LINOs are far too common. Unlike rhinos, they are unfortunately not an endangered species. They are abundant and actually quite easy to spot—unless you are one, in which case you usually don’t know it and might need a little bit of help. So here goes.
You might be a LINO if…
- You talk more than you listen in meetings
- The only tool in your box is a hammer
- You think everyone laughs at your jokes because you’re really funny
- People change the subject when you walk in the room
- You think rules are always rules, no matter what
- People do exactly what you pay them for, and no more
- You’re always right
- You’re smarter than everyone around you
- You never try to catch people doing things right
- None of your subordinates ever get promoted into other parts of the company
- Morale always improves when you leave
- You’re absolutely certain none of these apply to you
Whether you’re a beginning speaker who gets nervous when the audience size exceeds two, or a veteran who makes a living delivering important keynotes, there is always something you can improve, and the new year is an excellent time to take stock and set goals.
If you’re having trouble thinking of New Year’s resolutions, here’s a list of suggestions to get you started:
I will begin preparing earlier.
I will tell more stories.
I will make the customer the hero of my stories.
I will use fewer slides.
I will do at least one important presentation without slides.
I will rehearse my presentations, using video.
I will seek out objective feedback and coaching.
I will join Toastmasters.
I will embrace nerves, and use them as added energy and incentive.
I will seek out more opportunities to speak, especially where I’m uncomfortable.
I will read a book about speaking.
Have a happy and successful 2014!
I got this idea from reading Anthony Iannarino’s post today, and he apparently got the idea originally from Chris Brogan. While I believe in the power of specific and measurable goals, the idea of choosing just three words to anchor your central focus during the year is very appealing, so here goes.
Here are my three words for 2014:
Focus: I have a restlessly curious mind, which is a nice way of saying I get distracted easily. I am going to focus more this year. I’ve been training myself to focus more deeply and for longer periods of time on a single task, and I am going to up that commitment by blocking out dedicated time slots for my key business and personal priorities. I will read fewer books but suck the marrow out of those I do.
Connect: I’m a natural introvert in a profession that rewards extraversion. I will communicate more often, make new friends, network more widely, and pick up the phone a lot more. I will go more than halfway in my relationships.
Give: This is partially to balance the first two words. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in your own goals and priorities and forget that others have goals too, that you might be able to help with. I am going to mentor more, volunteer my time, and share whatever expertise or other assets I have with those who ask for help. Please let me know if I can help.
What are your three words for 2014?
