When Trust Just Clicks

Dave Brock and I have inadvertently begun a snowball of mutually referential posts since I dashed off a comment to a post on creating value. In his latest response, he states that: “First, these conversations can’t exist without a strong foundation of trust. If our customers don’t trust us, if we don’t trust them, we can’t open up.”

As much as I trust Dave’s wisdom, I don’t fully agree. Yes, trust is critical in creative sales conversations, but he implies the common misconception that trust takes a long time to establish. The reality is that trust can click almost instantly. In fact, Charles Green, co-author of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, says, “Contrary to popular wisdom, people make serious judgments of trust very quickly. Trust is a mix of the rational and emotional and snap emotional judgments are commonplace. People decide almost instantaneously whether they trust you—without much proof.”[1]

I used the word “click” because it accurately describes my experience over four decades of selling and teaching. In sales calls, as well as in training sessions (which are in effect sales calls also), I’ve often experienced those “click” moments, when you can tell you have quickly won someone’s trust—when  arms unfold, they lean forward, and their face comes alive. When these moments happen there is a step change in the quality of the conversation, and magic can happen.

There are more principles and practices you can follow to increase the chances of having these moments than I can cover in one post, and I recommend several books at the end of this article. But, for what it’s worth, I would like to share some of those things that have worked for me over the years, all of which I stumbled on by accident, I have to admit!

• Listen to them as if your life depends on it. When I was a banker, I made a sales call on the owner of a sales training company. He offered me a job on the spot. Later, after I had gone to work for him, I asked him how he made such a snap decision. He said, “I was impressed with the way you listened to me.”
• Meet their challenge. I had gotten my foot in the door with a major office equipment manufacturer, but I had to pass the final test of meeting with their famously bilious EVP of Sales. He asked me, “So, you’re a sales consultant?” I replied, “No, I’m not that smart. I’m just a damn good sales trainer.” He said, “Good. I hate consultants”, and we got along great after that.
• Admit your ignorance. Long story which is recounted here, but I once had a prospect ask me why he should do business with me. My answer (which I had not planned), was “I don’t know.” He didn’t know how to respond to that, but I quickly said. “I don’t even know if you should do business with me. May I ask a few questions?” That one conversation turned into a long, mutually profitable relationship.
• Ask a not-so-dumb question. In one meeting, I had a sales in the bag, but I knew it wasn’t exactly the best approach for this client. I asked, “Can I just ask why you want to do this?” The VP of Training said, “What do you mean, we told you we want it; don’t you want the business?” I repeated my question and that sparked a whole line of discussion that resulted in a much larger—and more successful—project.
• Find something or someone in common. We’re predisposed to trust people who are similar to us, are “one of us”. If that something in common is a mutual friend that you both know and trust, it’s a double shortcut.

Of course, if trust can click instantly, it can also vanish just as quickly. But that’s a topic for a future article.

The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, by Charles Green and Andrea Howe

The Code of Trust, by Robin Dreeke

The Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It…Every Time , by Maria Konnikova

[1] Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, p. 5. By the way, this statement appears to reflect an evolution in Green’s thinking. In his original book, The Trusted Advisor, he says trust rarely develops instantly.