Book Recommendation: Counter Mentor Leadership

Kelly Riggs, author of Quit Whining and Start Selling,  has teamed up with his son Robby to write Counter Mentor Leadership, which is a timely book on how to lead in today’s 4-Generation workplace. I personally can’t imagine how a father-son relationship could survive writing a book together, but they have somehow managed to pull it off.

I definitely recommend it as an excellent book on leadership, although I say that for different reasons than they would claim, which I will get to in a minute.

The first two sections of the book set the table by describing how today’s workplace has changed, and why leadership may be more challenging than ever. Their premise is that today’s BOSS (Boomer, Old-school Supervisors) leadership model is not effective with KIDS (Know-it-all Digital Self-promoters). Boomers, according to them, still practice the old Taylorian model of command and control management and so they’re out of step with the demands of today’s workplace, with its new technology, distractions, pace of change and complexity.

The main course of the book is section three, in which they introduce their COUNTER Mentor leadership model. The acronym describes the seven tasks of a leader:

• Communicate desired outcomes
• Own the relationship
• Understand different perspectives
• Negotiate the obstacles
• Teach essential skills
• Execute
• Review results

The prescriptions comprise solid, common sense advice for leaders. As with most leadership advice, it’s things you more or less know already but don’t do enough of. Rather than go into detail for each of these parts of the model, let me address two key points that fit the persuasive communication theme of my blog.

First, I strongly agree with Communication as not only the first piece of the model, but as the only one that merits more than 1 chapter—four chapters, in fact. As I’ve put it before with maybe just a light touch of exaggeration, leadership IS communication.  As the book puts it, “everything you do is communication, and your people soak it up like a sponge.”

Second, the charge to understand the perspectives of others is absolutely critical.[1] R&R tell us that “understanding is critical to developing a relationship, and relationship is the key to trust.” The key takeaway I got from this is that both sides demand respect, but they define respect differently, which is why open conversations to understand each other’s points of view is essential. The best tool for this is the Counter Mentor 1-on-1 Meeting, which is like a sales call plan for coaching.

As I mentioned earlier, my reasons for recommending the book may differ from theirs. First, while I agree that the Taylorian model doesn’t work, that’s not exactly a new idea. Douglas McGregor called the old style Theory X and the new style Theory Y in his book, The Human Side of Enterprise, in 1960, while a few years’ worth of boomers weren’t even born yet. If bosses are still practicing the old school management today, in my view it’s a personal problem, not a generational problem.

Besides, speaking of generational conflict, we’ve always had generational differences in the workplace. (Remember the song, Signs  with its lines, “Long-haired freaky people need not apply” and “Imagine that! Hah, Me working for you!”) I suspect that today’s millennials will become tomorrow’s BOSSes when they get older and get more control.

But those two quibbles are actually good reasons to buy this book and apply its lessons. People constantly need to be re-reminded of old truths, and millennials who take these lessons to heart may avoid the fate of becoming BOSSes as they grow older (yes, it’s going to happen to you before you know it—one day you’ll look in the mirror and see your Mom or your Dad).

So, yes, you need to apply the lessons in this book, but not just because there are 4 generations in the workplace. The leadership model applies regardless of the age of the participants on either side of the equation.

As Kelly and Robby stress, it’s all about respect, no matter how old you are. And I guess that’s how father and son managed to write a book together.

[1] Although they don’t specifically address it in the book, different perspectives also arise from increased diversity and cultural differences, which makes this more important than ever.