Persuasive Humor Is Serious Business

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Do you want to know how to make an instant connection to other people, while looking smart and confident and putting them in a good mood, all at the same time?

Sorry, I can’t help you. You’ve come to the wrong place.

Just kidding. There actually is a magic substance that can do all those things for you, but it’s tricky to work with and can blow up in your face if you mess up. By now you already know that I’m talking about: humor.

I still remember a loan committee meeting over 30 years ago when Scott, a loan officer, was talking about a borrower with a difficult sounding name, and our President said, “European?” Scott looked confused for a second, and then said, “Oh, I thought you were going to tell me European in the wind if you think you’re going to get this loan approved.”

Some of you reading this may have just laughed out loud. Some of you may have had to re-read it because you didn’t get the joke at first. (Hint: say it out loud). Some of you didn’t think it was funny, and some of you may have even been offended, and I’ve possibly lost you as a reader.

That little  story points out the power and peril of using humor in a business environment. Humor can be an enormously effective and useful tool in business communication, but it can also be slippery and hard to handle. It can help you connect with an audience or turn them against you in an instant.

Why does humor work so well?

Humor can be an enormously powerful tool in persuasive business communication. Let’s look at some of the benefits you can get if when it works.

It gets everyone’s attention. The essence of humor is surprise, and surprise always compels attention. Our brains are exquisitely tuned to anything that breaks a pattern or an expectation, and that’s exactly what a joke or quip can do. Also, everyone listen because no one wants to be left out of the joke.

It can level the playing field. As I recall that meeting, Scott was a junior loan officer who was making his first presentation to the high ranking people in the room. The status gulf was pretty wide, but he closed it instantly by getting everyone to laugh and appreciate his wit. They saw him as a likeable person and were more disposed to listen to what he had to say. By getting everyone to share in a common emotion, you’ve brought the group together, with yourself as the center and the catalyst. As Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

It can help something stick in memory. The fact that that story popped into my mind as I was thinking about writing this article attests to that. Even thirty years later, I still remember it and chuckle about it. When Abraham Lincoln was first running for office in rural Illinois, he told lots of humorous stories, and people would remember and repeat them long after he moved to the next town, and that is what got him elected. By the way, Lincoln one time when a heckler yelled out that Lincoln was two-faced, he said, “If I had two faces would I wear this one?”

Humor can defuse tension. When people are angry or tense, humor can be a relief valve. Bank manager’s desk story…

It can disarm a skeptical and even hostile audience. Humor is a great way to open someone’s mind enough to slip in a serious point. When people are in a good mood, their minds are going to be more open and receptive to what you have to say. When liberal Ted Kennedy was invited to speak at a fundamentalist school, he opened with: “Actually, a number of people in Washington were surprised that I was invited to speak here—and even more surprised when I accepted the invitation. They seem to think that it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for a Kennedy to come to the campus of Liberty Baptist College.”

It can defuse a potential weakness. When Ronald Reagan debated Walter Mondale in 1984, he knew Mondale was going to make an issue out of his age, so he said “I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” When he said that, even Mondale had to laugh, and he knew he was beaten.

It can make you look smart. We all admire someone whose quick wit lets them rise to the occasion when the pressure’s on. But it goes deeper than that. Think about it: when you say something that makes people laugh, it’s because you’ve thought of something they haven’t.

It makes you look confident. It takes confidence to poke fun at yourself and having the guts to expose the humor in an otherwise serious situation. Besides, just because telling a joke can be risky, others may admire your gut to try to pull it off.

Humor is a great way to create contrast in your presentation. You can lighten up when things get too serious, or get people laughing and then quickly switch gears to something serious when you have their attention.

But wait, it can be risky

Using humor is kind of like throwing a forward pass in football. Three things can happen, and two of them are bad. Your joke may fall flat, or it may actually hurt you.

Let’s take a look at the potential downsides, in descending order of seriousness.

It can get you fired. I don’t need  to spend too  much time on this here. We all know how sensitive our times have become, and anything you say even in private can quickly become viral global news.

It can insult someone. Leaving aside the ethical considerations of hurting someone, you can easily lose the goodwill of the target and potentially lose the whole audience by appearing mean-spirited.

You’ve made yourself  look awkward, nervous, or simply trying too hard. We’re often advised to start a presentation with a joke to break the ice, but that’s become so common that people may see right through it and think less of you.

You’ve made yourself  look like a non-serious person. If you’re speaking with a high-ranking audience, their time is valuable and the first thirty seconds or so can be crucial; you may waste it by taking a cheap shot.

How to use humor without hurting yourself

Considering the balance of reward and risk, let’s first set out to do no harm, and then figure out how to use it to positive effect.

If you’re planning ahead to use humor in your presentation, make sure it’s appropriate. It doesn’t have to be G-rated for an adult audience, but maybe you should make it PG. By that I don’t mean parental guidance—use peer guidance: try it out on your peers and get their impression. And if you’re in doubt, leave it out.

Respect the occasion or the topic. While humor is a welcome guest at almost any occasion. Sometimes it can trivialize or demean the situation.

Make sure it’s relevant. We’ve seen how a clever remark can stick in someone’s memory, but if it’s not connected to your message people will remember the joke but not the point you were hoping to make.

Know your limitations, both in general and also about specific forms of humor. I’m not especially good at telling long-form jokes, the kind that involves a story and a punch line at the end. Most people take too long to tell the story and mess up the timing of the punch line, which is why professional comedians practice endlessly before they bring out a joke in public.

Singe but don’t burn. Humor can be a great way to score points against opposing arguments, but if you use it, beware of being mean. It can turn the audience against you in a microsecond and turn you into the bad guy.

If you want to make fun of someone, let it be yourself. Self-deprecating humor is especially useful in two totally different situations. If you’re higher-ranking than your listeners, you can use it to make yourself seem more human and humble. On the other side, if you have a weakness or limitation that makes your listeners skeptical about you, you can preempt it by joking about it.

Humor is most effective when it complements your message without calling too much attention to itself. If you say something funny and it works, great—go with the flow. Don’t make a big deal out of it or call attention to yourself and how clever you are. If some people don’t get it, don’t try to call attention to it or try to explain it. If your joke or quip falls flat, it’s only awkward if you dwell on it; either cut your losses and simply move on, or make a self-deprecating joke about your feeble attempt and then move on.

Can you develop your humor?

There are some professionals who say that humor is actually a skill that you can learn and improve. I believe them, but even they warn you that it’s not easy. It takes a lot of thought, time and practice to develop the skill, so you have to decide whether it’s the best use of your time. Those stand-up comedians we admire who make it look so easy have actually spent thousands of hours perfecting their craft.

Most people don’t have the time or the motivation to work hard at it, but the good news is you don’t have to. My own advice is really the same thing I would say about any other rhetorical device: if you know your thinking is sound and your message is strong, then you can add it as additional spice; just don’t be afraid to be loosen up and have a little fun with it.