Political “Persuasion”

Election season is upon us, so our mailboxes are filled with persuasion attempts. While it’s tempting to just throw them away, it can be instructive to examine them carefully to see what works and what does not work. Yesterday, I received a copy of this appeal that one of my readers had received, and she asked for my opinion. Her subject line read: “Example of a persuasive political message I actually find persuasive”, so you know what she thought of it.

For decades, Jerry Brown has been a champion for the people of California. He has served as governor, as mayor of Oakland, and is currently the attorney general.

While governor, he helped to create almost 2 million new jobs, cut taxes, and built a budget surplus. As mayor, Jerry revitalized Oakland’s economy and reduced crime. And as attorney general, he is fighting for consumers and cracking down on violent gangs.

To each of these jobs, he’s brought an unparalleled passion for helping the people of California.

Now, he wants to return to Sacramento to bring that passion to the governor’s office, and he needs our help to ensure that he wins this race.

Please sign up to support his campaign.

These next few years offer a complex series of challenges — for California and our nation — and there is much we must accomplish together. Meeting these challenges will be possible only if we have bold leaders like Jerry Brown working alongside us.

But winning this election will not be easy. His billionaire opponent, Meg Whitman, has already spent more than $100 million on this race — shattering every spending record in California. In the coming weeks, she will blanket the airwaves and attempt to drown out every other voice in this election.

That is why Jerry Brown needs your support — knocking on doors, making calls to your neighbors, and working to get the word out about his campaign for California.

Can we count on you? Get started here:

http://ca.barackobama.com/Brown2010

Thank you,

President Barack Obama

I agree with her assessment that the message was skillfully crafted, but there are two major problems with it from my point of view:

1. I would make it less about Jerry Brown and more about her as the recipient of the message. This is a good example of a product-push type of message.
2. I would also beef up the part about challenges faced by the state and move it to the top. The idea is to build the pain first and then provide the attractive alternative.

I then asked her the ultimate test of its persuasiveness: Did you contribute?

Her answer: “No.”

From a purely technical perspective, what do you think of this appeal?