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On a scale of 1-10, how good are you at spotting when others are trying to scam you?
If you rated yourself higher than a five, you’d better stay with me for this entire post. It’s a story of some very smart people—people who should have known better—who were fooled for a very long time and lost millions of dollars in the process.
I’m switching sides for at least one episode because I’ve recently become fascinated by how con artists work. I first became interested when I was preparing for my podcast on instant trust, and I read a book called The Confidence Game, by Maria Konnikova, At about the same time, my son recommended that I read Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup, by John Carreyrou. Both books are stark reminders that persuasive communication can be used for evil as well as for good, and it’s helpful to know how people pull off cons that seem unbelievable in retrospect.
Let’s start with Bad Blood. In a nutshell, the story is this: a company named Theranos started by an attractive and charismatic 19-year-old Stanford dropout sets out in 2003 to make a huge dent in the universe of healthcare by developing a revolutionary technology that makes it possible to perform hundreds of blood tests using a single drop of blood. It’s a powerful promise, and it attracts investors from professors, seasoned tech entrepreneurs, and the likes of former Secretary of State George Shultz, retired General James Mattis, Henry Kissinger, Rupert Murdoch, and also signs contracts worth hundreds of millions of dollars with Walgreens and Safeway. The company raked in over $700 million in capital and was valued at one time at $9 billion, making its founder Elizabeth Holmes the youngest self-made billionaire in history.
Holmes may have initially had sincere aspirations to deliver on her dream, but somewhere along the way it turned into a big, bad, elaborate deception. It finally got exposed and began crashing down in 2015, when Carreyrou wrote about it in the Wall Street Journal.
How did a company fool so many sophisticated people for so long? If people with such smarts and experience can be so easily fooled for so long, what hope is there for us ordinary mortals? Actually, as I will talk about, being smart is not necessarily a defense. In fact, being of above average intelligence may actually be a liability.
I believe any elaborate deception requires active participation by both sides in the transaction. This is no way implies that there is anywhere near moral equivalence between someone who deliberately sets out to deceive and their victims, but the thoughts and behaviors of the victims are certainly contributing factors. Let’s look at both sides and see how Elizabeth Holmes was able to pull it off for so long:
- She was extremely charismatic. very intense way of looking at someone; spoke with great sincerity and conviction
- She looked the part. She fit the story she was telling, and people had heard the story before: the gifted passionate dropout who transformed an entire industry, a la Bill Gates and especially Steve Jobs. In fact, she encouraged the similarity by dressing only in black turtlenecks.
- She was totally ruthless with the truth. Could easily look someone in the eyes and tell the most outlandish lies.
- She showed no empathy or conscience. She was willing to do anything to protect her version of the story, from hiring lawyers to intimidate and harass those who expressed doubts to even putting patients at risk.
Even smart people fall into common mental traps
Even the most analytical and careful thinkers take shortcuts or bend to certain biases, and here are just a few of the factors that Holmes exploited.
Social proof. Even smart people don’t have time to research the biochemistry of blood analysis, so they take a shortcut by relying on the words and actins of people they trust.
Halo effect. When someone exhibits positive outward qualities, such as looking and sounding professional and competent, it’s much easier to think they’re good at other things as well, such as being a good manager or scientist.
Confirmation bias. Once you build an attractive story in your mind, it’s almost guaranteed that you will ignore evidence that does not fit that narrative, or you will find convenient explanations.
Fear of Missing Out. If you’re Walgreen’s and you don’t take the plunge, what happens if CVS does and makes millions?
Highly intelligent people may be more vulnerable
Anyone can fall into the mental traps listed above, but highly intelligent people also have two additional handicaps, which may make them even more vulnerable.
Ricky Jay, a professional magician, says, “For me, the ideal audience would be Novel Prize winners…their egos tell them they can’t be fooled.”
But one Nobel prize winner, Richard Feynman, said, “The first principle is not to fool yourself. And you’re the easiest person to fool.” And keep in mind that he was speaking to the 1974 graduating class of CalTech when he said that.
What makes smart people so easy to fool? First, it goes to what Ricky Jay said. They know they’re smart, so they think they can’t be fooled. They don’t actually imagine that the person sitting across from them is smarter than they are (at least in this particular situation). That means that they won’t even listen when someone tells them they’re wrong. George Shultz’s own grandson was one of the first to blow the whistle on what they were doing, and Shultz sided with Holmes. He actually told his own grandson, “I don’t think you’re dumb, but I do think you’re wrong.”
Second, smart people are very clever at coming up with rational explanations for things that don’t look right. No peer reviewed journals? That’s because it prevents others stealing their advanced ideas. Negative press? That’s caused by competitors trying to stop them. Missed deliveries? That’s because of the earthquake in Japan. Those types of explanations are easier to think of than the simple fact that they may just be wrong.
So, what can you do about it?
- Konnikova says the key to resisting persuasion is to have “a strong, unshakeable, even, sense of self. Know who you are no matter what, and hold on to that no matter what.”
- Be objective. There’s a simple hack to help you distance yourself emotionally from the decision. Pretend that someone you know came up to you and asked your advice on whether to invest or not.
- Have an exit script. If you start losing money it can be tempting to throw more in to salvage it. Know what your limits are before you enter into the transaction and stick to it.
- Be very suspicious of secrecy and time pressure.
- Search for disconfirming information; actively search for evidence that you may be wrong.
OK, now that I’ve armed you with the tools, go ahead and listen to the rest of the podcast and see if you pass the test at the end!
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Imagine this scene: Dr. King sets up on the National Mall—and delivers a PowerPoint presentation! Would we remember his words today?
MLK’s Dream speech worked so well for many reasons, but one of the most important was his ability to seize the audience’s imagination through mental imagery. He didn’t need a big screen set up on the white marble steps of the Lincoln Memorial to get us to picture scenes of black and white children playing together “on the red hills of Georgia”, or to imagine freedom ringing from “every hill and molehill of Mississippi”.
All he had was words, and words were more than enough.
Technology adds so much to our capabilities that we sometimes forget what we give up in return. I wonder if PowerPoint has sapped our power to evoke mental images through words, and if so, does it matter?
I do believe it matters, because mental images can be more persuasive than actual visuals. Actual visuals are good because they are processed instantaneously, and because everyone sees the same image, but these advantages may actually be disadvantages in terms of the persuasiveness of the image. Mental images can be more persuasive because they make people care, they make them remember, and most important of all, they can make them act.
Mind pictures make your listeners care
The right word can be like a light switch in the listener’s mind that lets them see their own personal version of the image you want them to see. Because it’s theirs, it can be more real and more meaningful—hence more persuasive. Political strategist Frank Luntz says, “…the word imagine is perhaps the single most powerful communication tool because it allows individuals to picture whatever personal vision is in their hearts and minds.”[1]
Daniel Kahneman, in Thinking, Fast and Slow, compares the effect of two statements: “a vaccine that protects children from a fatal disease carries a 0.001% risk of permanent disability.” Vs. “One out of 100,000 vaccinated children will be permanently disabled.” The second statement is more moving because all we see is that one child, not the 99,999 that are happy and healthy.
Mind pictures make your message unforgettable
When someone is getting ready to decide or to act on your presentation, you want them to remember how they felt when the heard the presentation and the arguments for taking the recommended course of action. Because creating the image actually takes work, the effort of creating the image will get the listener more involved and engaged, and they are more likely to remember the image or have it pop up in their minds when they are getting ready to act on the information. That’s why all memory systems are based on mental images.
Bob Woodward’s book, Bush at War contains this statement uttered by CIA agent Cofer Black in a Cabinet meeting after 9/11: “’When we’re through with them they will have flies walking across their eyeballs,’ he said. It was an image of death that left a lasting impression on a number of war cabinet ministers. Black became known in Bush’s inner circle as the ‘flies on the eyeballs guy’“
Think about it: I read that book 17 years ago, and when I began writing this podcast, it popped into my memory immediately. Now, that’s powerful!
Mind pictures make your listeners act
People are more likely to perform the actual behavior if they envision themselves doing it. One study that tested actual consumers’ sign-up rates for cable service tested two descriptions of the benefits that cable would bring, such as not having to hassle with babysitters and gas to go out. One described the benefits, the second asked people to imagine themselves in that situation were more than twice as likely to sign up than those who just got a description of product features.[2]
It’s especially important for leaders who want to turn their vision into ground truth. One study conducted by Wharton professor Andrew Carton found that hospital leaders who “communicated visions with image-based words triggered better patient outcomes that leaders who communicated visions abstractly.” They also found similar results for teams who were tasked with designing new toys.
Even better, when you can get them to picture themselves in the image, it tends to increase the likelihood of the behavioral change.[3] Stories are powerful image creators, and they are even more powerful when you make the listener the hero.
By the way, it even works great when your audience is yourself. There’s an idea called implementation intentions, which is basically picturing in your mind actually performing the action that you intend. So, for example, instead of saying, “I’ll work out after work”. You say: After I grab my keys and get into my car, I will start thinking of my workout routine as I drive directly to the gym…” It makes it much more likely that you will remember it and actually do it.
Mind pictures make you look better
There’s also a more personally selfish way to look at what painting word pictures can do for you: it makes you seem more charismatic. There has been research done that correlates the imagery content of presidential speeches with perceived leadership charisma; and also studies that actually manipulate the variables experimentally which demonstrate the same thing.
How to create mental pictures
First, make it a priority. You’re already spending a lot of time trying to find the right visual for your slide presentation. Why not spend some of that time figuring out how to generate the virtual image in their minds? You don’t have to give up slides, but try a little harder to use them less. Give yourself a goal of adding one or two verbal paintings to your dry content.
A great way to do this is to picture the scene in your mind after you’ve written it. For example, I can take that last sentence I just wrote and re-write it this way: Look at the words on the page, sit back, close your eyes, and imagine what it would like for your listener to do it. Then draw that view for your listeners.
Sketch your points first in black and white to make sure you get the message down properly, but then go back and stir the pot of your vocabulary. I know I’ve said before that short plain words are the best, but the ones that come out in your first draft are the dull everyday words that have lost their fizz. Dig a little deeper where the colorful interesting words lurk just beneath the surface.
Some of the best words are adjectives that convey vivid details, names of concrete things that everyone can envision (think of Churchill’s “iron curtain” descending over Europe), and strong action verbs that can make those pictures in their minds move and act in ways that make them more memorable and vivid.
Analogies and metaphors are especially easy for listeners to picture in their minds. In 1940, Great Britain stood alone against Nazi Germany and desperately needed supplies and weapons that it could not afford. President Franklin Roosevelt wanted to provide them, but the isolationist mood in the US made that very difficult. FDR came up with a plan called Lend-Lease, under which the US would “lend” materials to Britain in exchange for leasing some of its naval bases. It was legally dubious, but instead of quibbling with fine points of law, here’s how he sold it at a press conference: “Suppose my neighbor’s home catches fire, and I have a length of garden hose four or five hundred feet away. If he can take my garden hose and connect it up with his hydrant, I may help him to put out his fire…I don’t say to him before that operation, “Neighbor, my garden hose cost me $15; you have to pay me $15 for it.”… I don’t want $15–I want my garden hose back after the fire is over. ” The average voter couldn’t be bothered with legal clauses, but could easily picture the idea of their neighbor’s house being on fire.
Notice how FDR said it. He didn’t just compare the situation to a house on fire, he made the listeners picture the scene, with the hose several hundred feet away, and the physical acts of fetching it and connecting it to the hydrant, and helping him put it out.
Build it into your presentation structure. Where are the best spots to add a dab of living color? The introduction is a great place to flip the visual switch in their minds. When you’re describing the problem and the pain it’s causing, is another great spot to put it in. But probably the best spot for visual imagery is the end of your presentation or speech, you give them a psychological power boost before you send them on their way.
Imagine
Imagine this scene: you’re in a boardroom about to make your presentation to a group of decision makers. As the previous speaker quietly fades from the premises and their memories, your listeners are chatting idly or fussing with their phones. You launch into your presentation and bodies lean forward, the room clicks into silence, and heads snap to lock eyes onto you.
Or you describe the problem and the risks they run in not solving it, and eyes widen, people almost visibly shudder, and heads shake. You can see that they are feeling the pain you’ve painted for them…
Finally, imagine your team after you’ve delivered your vision for the year, pouring out of the room charged up with palpable energy, eager to get started.
You can turn any one of these pictures into reality by
painting pictures with words.
[1] Frank Luntz, Words that Work, p. 21.
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When you fly, do you ever talk to the person in the seat next to you? If you’re like me, you probably don’t. I would prefer to put on my headphones and read a book or do something on my computer. In my work, when I travel, I have to make nice to perfect strangers all day, and the last thing I want to do when I fly home is to expend energy getting acquainted with the person next to me. And I’m sure most of them feel the same way.
But that’s kind of stupid and short-sighted, considering that my largest client of my career resulted from a chance encounter on an airplane.
Let me tell you another story about a master networker who literally changed the course of history. The story comes from Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point. I’m sure you’ve heard of Paul Revere, who in 1775 rode out of Boston in his midnight ride to warn people that the British were planning a raid on Lexington and Concord the next day. But you may not have heard about William Dawes, who rode out on the same mission as Revere did, to warn other towns further to the south. They both rode about the same distance among the same number of people, but almost nobody on Dawes’ route either heard or spread his message, while Revere’s news spread like a virus, as hundreds of minutemen poured out of their homes to resist the British, and fired the shot heard around the world.
According to Gladwell, the difference was that Revere knew a lot of people, so he knew which doors to pound on in the middle of the night to warn the important people. He was also a more outgoing personality, so he most likely talked to the folks he encountered along the way. He was a born networker before anyone knew the term.
You probably don’t need a whole lot of convincing that networking is important, but you also probably don’t do it as much or as well as you should. If you’re like me, you probably find it awkward to approach a stranger and start a conversation. It may feel fake, or forced, and even potentially a bit creepy.
Just remember, everyone you know (except for immediate family) was a stranger once. Somehow you had to break the ice and get to know them. It might have been the first day of school, or a party you didn’t want to go to, or even someone sitting next to you on a plane.
Besides, some people—and I’m one of them—need networking advice/encouragement more than others, because they either don’t want to do it, or don’t know how, or both. So let me start with a little motivation:
- There is no such thing as job security anymore. You could be the most valued employee at your firm today, and tomorrow your boss may go somewhere else, your company may be sold, or your position could be “rationalized” by some pimple-faced consultant fresh out of business school.
- If you work for yourself, then it’s a no-brainer. You may have the best mousetrap in the world, but no one’s going to beat a path to your door if they don’t know you exist, and even if they do know, they’re much more likely to talk to you if others know you and recommend you.
- You don’t have all the answers. Everything you produce depends on input from others, and the quality of input is related to the depth and breadth of your contacts. Networks give you inside information that’s not available to the whole world (which is why we have laws against insider trading).
- One of the most valuable resources you can accumulate in life is the goodwill of others. Social capital can be just as critical to your success in life as financial capital.
- Let’s look at networking from an unselfish standpoint for a minute: maybe you have something that can help others, either to do their job better or to find a better job…
The ideas that I’m going to talk about are especially targeted towards toward introverts and technical professionals, but they actually apply to all networkers, regardless of who you are.
Some general principles
Give before you get. It’s not about what others can do for you, but about what you can do for others. If you bring that mindset to your networking, you will develop a reputation for selflessness and you will earn gratitude and reciprocity. You will also feel good about yourself.
Start early and be consistent. As the old saying goes, dig your well before you’re thirsty. How many times have you received a phone call or email out of the blue from someone you haven’t heard from in a long time. What’s your reaction? Yup, you’re suspicious and your guard goes up immediately. That’s because most people only reach out when they need something. The problem is, all of us get so busy and wrapped in our daily lives that we often go long stretches without talking to even some of our closest friends. That’s why we need to schedule time and make it a consistent part of our day or our week. Or, there’s the opposite problem: someone connects with you and then instantly tries to move in for the kill. We all hate that, so that’s another reason it’s important to start early and be patient.
Find the right balance of quantity, quality and diversity. Quantity is important; all things being equal, the more people you know the better off you are. But networking is not about just collecting business cards at an event of accumulating LinkedIn connections. You also need to pay attention to the quality of your contacts. In fact, contacts is the wrong word. There’s a big difference between a contact and a friend, and between a friend and a trusted advisor. So quality is measured by the strength and closeness of your relationship times the power of the person you have a relationship with.
Networking for introverts
Those principles I just mentioned apply to anyone who networks, but I promised to gear this toward introverts and technical professionals…
First, networking is not a dirty word. Getting to know someone—even if it’s for your own advantage, is not wrong. Remember, almost everyone wants to improve their network (especially when you’re at a networking event!), so you are actually be doing them a favor by reaching out to them. If you think you’re bothering them, what does that say about your own self-image?
Second, introverts may find it harder to reach out to strangers, but they also have some advantages which can make them better networkers.
- They can be more methodical. If you see networking as a regular process, you may be more apt to do it.
- They can be better listeners. As I said in my previous podcast, one of the ways to get trust quickly is to suspend your ego, and introverts find that easier to do than extroverts.
Here are some actionable suggestions to improve your networking overall and for specific events:
Have a plan
For networking overall, this means knowing whom you want to target and expand your connections; being consistent; One of the best ways to expand the quality and diversity of your connections is to get involved in something meaningful, such as an industry group, a task force, or a volunteer organization.
For specific events, having a plan means doing a little research if possible to anticipate who will be there and whom you might want to meet. It also means having a conversational plan (I know, extroverts are laughing right now). For example, have an interesting and non-cliché response for the stock questions you know you’ll get, such as “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?” It also means having a few questions of your own—better than the two I just mentioned.
Be easy to talk to
Be approachable. Look people in the eyes, nod and smile. Say hello to people walking by. Stand near the bar or the food.
Try to be interested, not interesting. In other words, don’t try to show others how important or accomplished you are, but try to give them an opportunity to brag about themselves. When they do, compliment them sincerely. If people ask you questions about yourself, answer them but then volley the ball back into their court by tacking on a question of your own at the end.
Look for ways to help the other person. (See above: give before you get…)
If you consistently and persistently follow these suggestions, you can vastly expand your circle of influence and your personal success—and best of all, you won’t need to bother the person sitting next to you on the plane!
Further reading
There are many more useful ideas about networking for people who hate to network than I can cover in this brief podcast. Let me recommend two—one that I read several years ago, and one which is just out.
Never Eat Alone, by Keith Ferrrazzi. (Just don’t make the mistake I made. I was in Chicago, reading the book by myself at dinner, when my client walked in and burst out laughing when he saw me!)
Networking for A/E/C Professionals, by Scott Butcher. Don’t let the specificity of the title scare you off. Butcher provides step-by-step specific suggestions that any technical professional can apply to their benefit.
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Although common “wisdom” says it takes a long time to establish trust, the reality—as proven by scientists, law enforcement professionals and even con artists—is that we all make nearly instantaneous judgments about whether to trust people, and only afterwards refine or revise our initial impression.
While it’s not possible to predetermine how others will react to you, in this podcasts, I share three principles, two actions and two behaviors that will make you more immediately trustworthy in the eyes of others.
Principles:
Intentions trump technique
Charles Green, co-author of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, calls this principles over processes, and it’s one of the five attitudes he suggests you must have to create trusting relationships.
It all begins with intent. While it is possible for someone to fake it, people generally can see through you fairly quickly. Plus, it’s a lot easier and more natural to do some of the behaviors I’m going to suggest when you actually feel them yourself. It’s the same principle underlying method acting, in which the actor is taught to think of some situation in their life when they felt the emotion they are meant to portray. When they “become” the character they are portraying they find it much easier to do it.
Of course, there are people who know how to fake their intentions very well for their own ends, such as psychopaths and con artists, but that’s not really an option for normal, good-hearted people such as you and me.
There’s a bit of a paradox here, because of course one of the reasons you want someone to trust you is because you probably want something from them in return. It may be a sale if it’s a customer, or agreement if it’s a peer or a boss. But as I’ve said before, the best way to get what you want is to give others what they want by granting it to you.
Suspend your ego
Probably the most important and at the same time the hardest principle to follow. This one comes from Robin Dreeke, former FBI counterintelligence agent and author of The Code of Trust. It’s another way of saying what I’ve harped on constantly throughout my podcasts: outside-in thinking—make it about them, not you.
What does this mean in practical terms? First, try to see things from their perspective. That’s hard to do, especially when they say something you don’t agree with. Your natural temptation is to argue, but what you must do here is ask questions or seek to understand. Talk less than you normally do. Don’t try to be interesting; be interested in them. Be curious about them. Resist the temptation to tell your story. Most people love to talk about their kids, for example, but aren’t quite so enthusiastic to hear about others’ kids. Get interested in their kids.
Start with trust
It’s unrealistic to expect someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself, and that is just as important for trust as anything else. If you want others to trust you, you have to be prepared to trust them, and to show them. “Bare your neck” One way to quickly do this is to show your own vulnerability, either by confessing a weakness or by asking for advice. Reciprocity is a powerful tool of influence, and people who have been granted a trust may be more open to granting one in return.
Actions
Earn the right
Study them. Learn as much as you can about them: their background, their education, their interests, things they have said or written, etc. People will be flattered that you did it, and it will give you material you can use to establish common ground and to ask better questions that get them engaged in the conversation.
Establish common ground
Similarity is one of the fastest shortcuts to trust. As Maria Konnikova says, “We are more trusting of people who seem more familiar and more similar to us, and we open up to them in ways we don’t to strangers: those like us and those we know or recognize are unlikely to want to hurt us.”
Behaviors
Be transparent
Good intentions are useless unless people can see them, so this is about body language and verbal language. Nonverbal is first because people see it before the first words come out of your mouth. Be forthright and friendly in your approach and your gaze, Have a firm handshake; above all, smile genuinely, and act as if they are the highlight of your day. Face them squarely as if you have nothing to hide.
Listen as if your life depends on it
This is so obvious that it’s almost a cliché, but I want to stress the idea of patient listening. In other words, don’t just listen for an opportunity to insert your own opinion or to begin your pitch. Make them feel as if they are the most important person in the room at that time. When they say something, ask questions about it: find out more about what they mean, why they said it, how strongly they feel about it, maybe get them to tell a story about how they came to feel that way.
Sources referenced in this podcast:
The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, by Charles Green and Andrea Howe
The Code of Trust, by Robin Dreeke
The Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It…Every Time , by Maria Konnikova
Looks Matter More than Reputation When It Comes to Trusting People with Our Money
