Some outside-in thinking going on
The most important principle in persuasive communication is what I call outside-in thinking: the ability to plan your approach and frame your message according to a deep understanding of how the other person thinks and how they view the situation. Outside-in communicators know that one size does not fit all; it all starts with taking the perspective of the other person.
Throughout history, great generals have applied this concept by getting into the mind of their adversaries and adjust their strategy accordingly. Although “adversary” isn’t the way we want to consider those we’re trying to persuade, the principle of outside-in thinking is the same in both contexts. A story I just read about U.S. Grant in The Man Who Saved the Union
In February 1862, Grant commanded the Union forces that attacked the neighboring Confederate forts, Henry and Donelson, which guarded the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers. Fort Henry fell relatively quickly, but Fort Donelson was a tougher nut to crack. It was nominally commanded by John Floyd, but Grant knew that he would defer to the judgment of his second in command, General Gideon Pillow. As Grant later wrote in his memoirs, he knew Pillow from their previous service together in the war against Mexico, and he was confident that he could approach aggressively against him.
Knowing they could not hold out for long, on February 15th the Confederates launched a vigorous attack against the Union forces in attempt to escape the fort. The plan came close to success, but the Union lines just managed to hold on. Fearing Union reprisals, both Floyd and Pillow—establishing a tradition that incompetent CEOs follow to this day—snuck out during the night, leaving Simon Bolivar Buckner to unconditionally surrender the fort[1].
Buckner, who had served with Grant in California, told him that if he had been in command Grant would not have gotten up close to Donelson as easily as he did. As Grant later said in his memoirs: “I told him that if he had been in command I should not have tried in the way I did.”
[1] He was pretty ticked off about the unconditional surrender demand, having banked on his long friendship with Grant and the fact that he had loaned him money to return home from California after he left the service.
, there’s a story of how Bono approached Senator Jesse Helms to enlist his support for African debt relief so that those nations could devote more resources towards combatting AIDS. He began his pitch with a data-filled explanation of the problem, (this approach had worked very well with Bill Gates), but quickly saw that Helms was losing interest. Bono, a born-again Christian who knew Helms was also, switched to the language of the Bible and quoted Scripture to make his case. By the end of the meeting, Helms rose to his feet to embrace him, and went on to help raise $435 million for the cause.
New Sales. Simplified. by Mike Weinberg is ideal if the person on your gift list is a “hunter” who has the difficult task of selling to new customers. It’s a thoughtful, clear and practical guide that strips out unnecessary complexity and makes the case that old-fashioned selling is still needed even in this age of social media.
Selling Fearlessly by Bob Terson is an excellent recommendation if you’re looking for a sales book for the person involved in one-call close sales. In over forty years of successful selling, Bob Terson has seen and done it all, and shares his wisdom and tips through engaging stories.
To Sell Is Human, by Dan Pink. If you’ve read Drive or A Whole New Mind, you know that Dan Pink is a wonderful writer, and his latest book tackles the science behind selling. He reminds us that even if you don’t sell for a living, about 40% of your time is spent influencing or persuading others, and brings fascinating insights and perspective to the craft. Although the book won’t be released until December 31, you can put an IOU in the stocking.
Strategic Sales Presentations by Jack Malcolm would be on this list even if I hadn’t written it, because in my humble opinion it is one of the top books on sales presentations—all presentations, in fact—that has been written. Its special focus is on speaking the language of executive decision makers.
You Talkin’ to Me? Rhetoric from Aristotle to Obama by Sam Leith. What possible use does the ancient art of rhetoric have in the twenty-first century? Rhetoric is rarely taught in colleges today, and the term is mostly used as a negative. Fortunately, there are still a few people such as Leith keeping the flame burning. His book makes Aristotle accessible and relevant as ever.
Practice Perfect by Doug Lemov, Erica Woolway and Katie Yezzi. If you want to master any skill, you have to put in the long hours. But practice doesn’t make perfect—it makes permanent. This means that you have to know how and what to practice, and this book has 42 rules for “getting better at getting better.”
So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport. For the high school or college student on your list who is trying to figure out their path in life, this book provides practical wisdom that contradicts the ubiquitous advice to “follow your passion”, which is one reason you have so many PhDs in medieval Latvian literature wiping tables in coffee shops.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain is a good gift for about one third of the people you know, who prefer listening to talking. The book shows how introverts can use the natural advantages they have to become more successful.
The Last Lion by William Manchester and Paul Reid. If you’re interested in leadership, speaking and fascinating characters, Winston Churchill would be at or near the top of any of these lists in the entire history of this planet. This book, which covers the war years and beyond, is the third and final volume of William Manchester’s masterful biography, finished ably by Paul Reid.
