What’s Wrong with Social Distancing

In the past week or two, a new phrase has entered our common discussion: social distancing. I don’t know who came up with it, but I think it’s an unfortunate way to describe what we should be doing. I wish they had called it something like physical distancing.

Now is the time for social closeness, not distancing. Please don’t get me wrong; I’m not advocating doing anything unsafe, and I do take this coronavirus crisis seriously. But, precisely because we should take it so seriously, I advocate getting closer to the people who are important in your life—not physically but at least virtually.

It’s more important than ever to draw close. Having been through a number of hurricanes and their aftermaths, I’ve seen how difficult times can pull a community together as people pitch in to help each other without keeping score. Neighbors coming together and pooling their stored food for an impromptu cookout, running an extension cord to share some of your generator power, giving someone a gallon of gasoline, clearing trees off the road, and so on.

That kind of togetherness helps people in practical ways, but its true value is psychological, because it’s so much easier to cope with difficulties when you’re connected to something larger than yourself.

But this situation is different, because doing something for someone may actually put them in danger. A small example: when I went to retrieve my Sunday paper yesterday, I found it at my doorstep, thanks to a kind neighbor who likes to do that for people during her early morning walk. Normally, I’m grateful for that, but this morning, the first thing I did after taking the paper out of its wrapper was wash my hands for twenty seconds (although I forgot to sing “I Will Survive”). I bring my mother groceries so she won’t go to the store herself (and she is the most stubborn and independent-minded 97-year-old you will ever meet), but that increases the risk that I might bring the bug to her. You can’t eliminate all the risks but you can at least try to be smart about it.

Fortunately, we’re the first generation in history that has the means to undergo physical distancing and still stay socially close. We are better equipped than ever before to handle physical isolation, because at least we have Facetime and other ways to stay in touch. Let’s use our social media, phones, video streaming for their highest and best use: actually getting closer to one another.

Call your parents, or your kids or your grandkids. Call that old friend you haven’t talked to in quite a while, and see how they’re doing. Check on your neighbors to see if they need anything. We may not be able to shake hands, but we can still reach out and touch someone, as the old AT&T commercial used to urge us.

Physical distancing? Of course! Social distancing? No way!